Unplug!

It is amazing what we allow ourselves to be exposed to. Whether it is listening to negative comments from others, watching television shows that impart fear or some unrealistic expectations of what love is; Or just allowing society to sway our beliefs on the definition of what true prosperity is. Despite the example, we are all plugged in to something.

Being a movie fanatic, I can't help but to think about the first Matrix movie. After Neo took the pill, his eyes were opened to a new (or true) reality. Once in that reality, he had to be plugged in in order to maneuver between each alternate world.

This is similar for us in our day to day lives. Everyone has their own reality (or belief) of right and wrong, good and evil, true and false. We can mentally and emotionally allow ourselves to gain other's truths to the point where it clouds our judgement on what's real.

A friend of mine was talking about a friend of theirs to me, and in the conversation they said, "I'm not saying it's true, but that is their truth". In other words, that is how they feel about it so it is true for them. 

I remember staring at this person, thinking to myself... Huh?! But believe it or not this statement rings true for a lot of people. Most have allowed life's problems to identify them and sculpt an image of what life is. 

Such as: If a person was cheated on, then it is sometimes hard for most to see any relationship as being a trusting, dependable, stable relationship that you don't have to hold up a 24 hour guard, waiting for something bad to happen.

Or

If one had a horrible childhood, it could be hard for them to not attract the same type of people in their lives later on and in some cases not want children as adults.

So here is where we get to the point when we need to unplug ourselves from stereo types, negative talk, bad news, lies, bad experiences and negative thoughts. We should allow ourselves a life of freedom in every area of our being. "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." (John 8:36 NIV)

But here is the catch. When we unplug, we must get plugged in to something else so that we don't move back into our old ways. "If you hold to my teachings, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free." (John 8:31-32 NIV)

Whether it is the bible in addition to inspirational music and books along with positive people, you must plug in. Yourself and those around you depend on it. 

Just like you giving your body the good fuel it needs to continue on throughout the day and in years to come, so it is the same for your spirit man. If you want to live a long healthy life with as little complications as possible in the future, then you eat right, exercise and try to get proper sleep right? Then we should do the same thing for our spirit, mind and soul.

Plug in to what God's Word says about you. Plug in to positive self affirmations and proclamations. Plug in to becoming an optimist despite the situation. 

You have a right to be happy despite your circumstances. Make the most of this life. Despite what it looks like now, remember it can always get better because you are an Overcomer! But you MUST be plugged in to the right source. 

Always A Way Out

I love movies! Especially inspirational movies with an under dog that rises to the top at the end, despite all their obstacles in the process. The Bible's true stories as well as Hollywood's elaborate scenes and awesome actors have given us great examples. One feels encouraged and inspired after reading (or watching) the main character overcome every negative thing that tries to stop them from reaching their divine purpose.

Sometimes life gets so heavy that it feels like you're suffocating and everything around you is closing in. The walls seem too high to climb and you feel that your voice is just a faint memory that God, or anyone else for that matter, can't hear.

Even though you pray, believe and try to press through as hard as you can, your perception creates a smoke screen as if there is no way out. Almost like between a rock (Mount Everest) and the hardest place ever. You're not weird because everyone has been here before. However, no matter what you do or think, there is always a way out.

I can remember different times in my life that I was disappointed, hurt, absolutely annoyed or all the above, and although that feeling was dominant then, I (or God) managed to bring me out each time. Being allowed to go through that era in my life has made me a better, stronger and WISER person. Though I would not want to go through those particular situations again, I can not deny that (like the word says) everything worked out for my good.

One of my favorite scriptures is James 1:2-4, 'Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.'

This scripture has got me through so many hard transitions in life. Yes change is inevitable and problems come and go. But the one thing that remains is if you endure, not give up and (allow yourself to persevere in everything), you will reap a harvest (Galations 6:9).

There is nothing that you can't come out of. Whether your problem is physical, psychological, emotional, financial or spiritual, God has created a fail safe for any situation you may have. His possibilities are endless, so therefore yours are too. See what He says about you and who you are in him and you will gain the strength you need to endure difficult times.

Look up and don't give up! Picture yourself rising to the top and breaking through. See yourself in the opposite light of what this current season is for you. Remember, there is ALWAYS a way out.

GET OUT!

I chuckle to myself when I hear "GET OUT", because it reminds me of Tyler Perry as Madea saying that phrase in one of his infamous plays "Diary of a Mad Black Woman".

Anyone who has ever watched a horror movie with some type of possessive poltergeist trying to take back a property from its living inhabitants, has found themselves screaming at the screen from the top of their lungs for the dense and clumsy character to get out of harms way.

But what about real life? Do we know when our time has come to an end in a particular relationship, season or job? Do we hang around longer than we ought waiting for some deep sounding voice to yell from the heavens to GET OUT?

We've all done it...stayed around longer waiting for that majestic sign or just plain waiting for things to get better and they don't. That's because our season for that particular thing has come to an end.

The truth is, we have an innate ability to want things to get better, no matter what it looks like. However, we can learn a lot from nature and how it is constantly changing from season to season without hesitation. Ants don't gather food in the winter. Snow doesn't fall in the summer. And flowers don't bloom in autumn. So why do we force ourselves to stay in something that has expired?

There could be countless reasons. However, personally speaking from my own experiences and what I've seen in others, I know there are 3 main reasons people stay out of season.


FEAR 
(an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.)

This one is major. Fear can paralyze you to the point where you don't move at all. It can be the fear of the unknown 'what's next?', fear of failure 'what if I succeed then go back to rock bottom?', fear of success 'what if I do succeed, can I stay at that level or improve?'. And the biggest one...What if God doesn't do it and leaves me hanging? 

Tip:
Despite these fears, God will not, has not and will never fail us. We have to move past this stage by reassuring ourselves in what the word says about us and his plan for us despite what it looks like now.


COMPLACENCY
(pleased, especially with oneself or one's merits, advantages, situations, etc., often without awareness of some potential danger or defect)

Complacency can be just as dangerous as anything else. You become numb in your current situation, not allowing yourself to feel, change, evolve, discern or move forward. You believe where you are is good enough but you are living beneath your potential. You are just getting by day after day.

Tip:
Wake up and drink some coffee! Begin to feel again so that you can be filled again. Filled with an excitement that each day brings your closer to fulfilling your destination. Try something new every week. Let it be something you're passionate about. Something that makes you happy. Take a break from the day to day mundane life that has sucked you dry. There is so much potential in you waiting to be born. Now it's up to you to decide what you will do with it.


PROCRASTINATION
(the act or habit of...putting off or delaying, especially something requiring immediate attention) 

Benjamin Franklin put it perfectly when he said, "Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today". Procrastinating is an ongoing disease that spreads like cancer if you allow it to enter your life and daily routine. It's easy to not do anything at all, but the gratification of completing the task at hand gives a great feeling of reward. And the truth about procrastination is not just laziness, but its root is fear. So now you're dealing with not only one thing, but two major hindrances keeping you from moving into your new season.

Tip:
Scheduling is everything! Schedule a few important things for you to do each day and just do them. If you have to start with one today, two tomorrow, three the next day and so on, you will begin to break the habit of procrastination. You will begin to feel and act like the conqueror you are. In addition you will have a freedom like never before.

Here's the light at the end of the tunnel: No matter what is keeping you from leaving this season (whatever that is for you), you can change it and come out of that which holds you back. You have to shed old skin in order to hold new wine. That old skin can look like many different things for different people. But regardless of what it is, get rid of it so you can move forward and leave this dead season, job, church, relationship etc. Just Do It (as Nike puts it so simply) and GET OUT!

Beat the Odds

Nothing is more compelling than beating the odds. When everything is against you and everyone says you can't, you do it and do it well.

I remember when I worked in corporate, my boss brought my team into a meeting and said that if anyone processed 40 payments before noon could go home early.

Well me, always loving a challenge, set my mind to prove it could be done (plus I wanted to go home, lol).
While everyone complained and shared every problem that could keep a person from completing the task, I went back to my desk and commenced to proving them wrong.

Needless to say I (was the only one who) finished my 40 payments by 11:45 am. I walked in and boasted to my boss, who in shock couldn't believe his ears, checked my daily record to find it was true.

It is amazing what we can do when we put our minds to it. So it makes you wonder what is really important to us, or what is the problem (mind set) that stops us from moving ahead.

Remembering this story makes me take a look at the things I need to do and why I haven't started or completed them yet.

The answer is .....ok I really don't know. But what it does is makes me take a good look at myself and ask, "is it fear or laziness?", "procrastination or lack of motivation"? Or could it be a little bit of all the above.
I, today, have challenged myself to complete at least 1 task a day. Not half doing it, but totally committing to it until the end.

Whether it's house work, homework, music, social media or calling someone that's been on my mind for a while. All it takes is 1 step at a time. Who knows, I just may beat the odds and complete EVERYTHING on my to do "Life" List. I'll keep you posted.

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Changing Places Part 2

The other night my 5 month old daughter ate from a spoon and drank from a cup (not a sippy cup) all in one night for the first time! It made me happy and sad all at once.

The sad part was thinking she wasn't going to need me any more. Yes I know, silly huh? But my wonderful husband assured me that she was always going to need me.

His mother passed from cancer a year ago on January 21st last year and he said he still would need his mother. That broke my heart, but made me feel a little better about the relationship with my daughter.

It goes to show you that change is inevitable. A year ago we had his mother alive and recovering from cancer, so we thought, and no child. This year we are unfortunate to not have his mother with us, but fortunate to have a beautiful, healthy baby girl.

We had to change in both scenarios. We couldn't go on living like his mother was here, but instead honor her memory by sharing the good things with our daughter and one another.

Second, We can't continue to live as a single married couple because it would not be a conducive environment for raising a child (no more midnight dinners at Steak & Shake, lol).

Changing can be very hard. Whether getting up every hour and a half with a new born for the first time or burying a loved one and finding yourself without them.

When you are in a world that's constantly moving, sometimes the best thing to do is see what you can do to make change easier for yourself.

Embrace it as a part of you and let it fuel you to making better decisions for your future. Because when you except it, it will make for a better transition.

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Changing Places Part 1

I can't believe how many times I've heard 'change is inevitable'. No matter what happens in life we all have to come under the submission of change. And those of us that resist it will be miserable.


I was talking to a student advisor about technology and how it is ever changing. Every time you look up it's as if there is a new phone, tablet, smart TV or some other gadget that advertisement tells us we just can't live our day to day without.


When you buy the latest, you see a commercial or ad telling you they have something better, more revised or compatible with what your daily needs are. It is funny to say this, but we can really learn from technology.
One of my favorite books of all time is, "Who Moved My Cheese". I love this book! If you haven't read it I suggest you do so immediately.


The book introduces several characters with totally different views and actions on change. And if you're honest with yourself, it will really help you to identify with the character that fits your type of personality the most.


Some people feel that because the word says 'God is the same yesterday today and forever more', we need to continue in doing the same thing we've always done be it religion, spirituality, lifestyle, attitude or traditions, etc.


But if we read it in context it says "GOD" is the same. He's a perfect being so therefore he can continue to be who he is. No change is needed. However, we on the other hand, must continue to evolve as people. That's why we keep learning, growing, changing in our bodies, attitudes and perspectives.


Case and point:  You rarely see a (in most cases) 50 year old woman look at life like a 20 year old. She has learned, in her years from experience, that what mattered then does not matter any more. Her views have changed.


She becomes clearer of her wants versus her needs allowing wisdom to be a guide rather than reacting to the smallest things. Her inner and outer style become refined, and life to her now is not about what people think. She learns to be happy with herself and with what God has given her in this moment.


We must allow ourselves to change, because time will not stop and change will come (good or bad). But it's how we view it that will be the manifestation of what we will become.

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The Experience of God's Grace

Wow! A lot has happened since my last blog. I have had an anniversary, a birthday and....a BABY!
I feel so overwhelmed with joy and see God's grace in my life day after day.

In the past I remember the feeling of terror and burden every time I thought about having children. Being the oldest in a single parent home made me never want kids. Then, when I met my husband and grew to maturity I thought that maybe a few kids wouldn't be so bad but the discomfort remained.

It is amazing how we can allow something from our past to shape our future, good or bad. Even though I was raised by an awesome mother, it almost felt at times, as if I was the second parent. That is something a child, teenager or adolescent should never feel.

I often had to miss out on school activities because I had to keep my brother while she worked. Or I would have to take him with me. He was a pretty good kid, but it made me bitter because I felt there was no freedom.

So when I grew up I saw children as a burden......which is a horrible attitude to have towards an innocent child. And yes my brother was bullied by me because of it.

I have apologized to him many times for the way I treated him. Some may say that that type of behavior is normal for siblings, but honestly it really doesn't have to be.

Because of my outlook on what I thought having children would be like, I put off having children for years. I almost was leaning on not having them at all. I loved it just being me and my husband and got used to that lifestyle after 11 years of marriage and 14 years of being together (now 12 years married and 15 years together).

Every year our family and friends would ask when we were having kids and every year we would say "Next year." I know they got tired of hearing that but we didn't care. Then we found out we were pregnant and it was a shock! But when I saw the first ultra sound and she moved.... my heart was changed from that moment on.

When I look back at the year before conception, I realize that God and his grace was doing a supernatural change in my heart. I remember telling God I was ready to meet Madisyn (I always knew that would be her name). I didn't really know if I was ready or not but I knew that I had love to give that was more maternal than before.

As I watched her grow inside of me I began to see a different side of life that I had never been exposed to. Every movement, every change in my body and hers, began to show a side of God's grace that only a mother would know.

His grace was in the pregnancy, delivery and in her existence now. I would not trade this for the world! I see now that there was no need for fear of the unknown because, what is unknown to us is known to our Heavenly Father, and he only wants the best for us.

I thank God that he would entrust me and my husband with such an awesome gift and expression of his love and Grace. I am honored to be a mother!

What Has Church Become?

Wow! So much has been revealed about ministries and ministry heads all over the country. It really makes you think about your position in the kingdom. 

We often put our focus on leadership than on Christ. We get excited about what the facility looks like, the special effects and the hype but lose focus on the whole concept of what ministry really is.

Unfortunately I've been seeing a lot of fingers being pointed to others and there has been no responsibility or accountability on self. It has become a democracy of judgement.

We say that we are called by God, yet our actions are based on self gratification by illuminating others down falls and weaknesses just to make ourselves look better.

I remember when it used to be a time when churches were more committed to helping the community than growing their numbers and building large facilities that house self righteous people.

We have become more about our services agenda than...hmmmm.... actually letting the Spirit be apart of our worship. We rush through it as if it were a 9 to 5 job. We're not really focused on if people leave the same way they came or not, because at the end of the day all we really care about is the numbers in the congregation and the money we collect.

Am I judging you....absolutely not! But the writing is on the wall and it is as plain as day. We have got to get back to the basics on what God wants. Put the focus back on Jesus and stop playing church. Just because you like to talk doesn't mean you're called to preach or pastor. Maybe your call is to be a motivational speaker. 

But who knows the heart of man better than God? Doing the same mundane service week after week is not doing it for anyone. We have taken Him completely out of the picture, so that we can run our multi-million dollar corporation (definitely and absolutely not saying mega churches are bad). We forbid God to flow and people to be set free because we're on a time limit. Oh no, we won't allow that to happen.

If you are truly called to pastor and have lost sight of what GOD's original plan for you and your ministry was in the beginning, it's not to late to put the focus back where it belongs....ON HIM and the people that need Him. Get your life and church in order.

Remember it's not about growing your congregation or building, but reaching those that are lost and in need of help. Get over yourself because it's not about you, it's about them...the people.

Know Who You Are Part 2

There is nothing like confidence, not cockiness, in self. When you are without a doubt about what you stand for and believe in there is nothing that can stop you.

Some of us figure this out at young ages, while others take years to find themselves. The latter are sometimes the ones that look for characteristics in others that they like and they adapt to their personalities, building some what of a clone in self. But all the while they still have not tapped into the one God created them to be.

When I was young some of that was me. Even though I knew what I believed in, and stuck to that, I didn't really know myself. I too tried to clone the perfect person in me that I thought others would like.

But as I grew up and matured, I came to a hard realization that no matter how perfect you try to be or are, all people are not going to like you regardless! So I figured then, that if your not going to like me, you won't like me for being the real me....not a clone.

It took me years to see who I was. How do I laugh, how do I feel, what type of people do I want to be around, what do I want to wear, what do I look good in, how do I handle stress, etc.. These were some of the things I had to take note of about myself. It was almost like learning to live all over again.

I remember right before my 30th birthday, I did some "house cleaning" in my life. I realized that because I didn't really know who I was, I had people in my life that really weren't for me. They were about what I could do for them, but was never there for me.

So my life played like a movie screen. And everyone that I saw that was not conducive for Christyl was eliminated. It was just that simple. I know that sounds rough, but that is the best thing I could have done for me.

That was the start of me seeing who I was by removing all the smoke screens and seeing clearly. Some of them didn't notice because.....they were all about themselves...hmm. My circle from then up until now has been very small. And I like it that way.

I am very loving to all people, but I know why each person is in my life (and that's with God's leading). I no longer drown out my seasonal relationships because I don't want to let go. Instead I thank God for the time I did have with them and make sure whatever I was supposed to pour into that person or learn, I did.

I thank God for his wisdom and discernment that has grown in me through out the years, to protect me from all the hazards of not knowing who I was. I am happy with who I am in Him and love being me!

Receive What You Expect

We all have our expectancies, whether good or bad. Sometimes they change depending on what we've been through. But regardless, we get what we expect.

There is a song called "Expect the Great" by Jonathan Nelson, that I love. It is uplifting and gets you in a mind to expect greater of what's to come than what you are experiencing now. I know we all get side tracked by the negative things in our lives and sometimes want to give up, but the word tells us that everything works together for our good.

When you begin to feel like your life is not getting any better and you start only expecting the worst, that's where it would be easy for you to lose the battle. No matter what, keep your focus that you are the head and not the tail and that God has not forgot about you. He wants you to live blessed!

Your latter (future) will be greater than your past and present. Once you change your views and mind set on life, then you will begin to see everything line up with your expectancy. Because regardless of negativity or positivity, your life is a reflection of what you believe.

If you believe you are better than your current situation, then that strength God has put in you will start to rise you above what you're going through. You will no longer settle for less or the mundane. You will see yourself with better and start striving for that.

So let's change our views to start expecting only the best for ourselves and our families and watch the power God has given you, turn your life around for greatness.

Who Wants to Change? Part 2

I've been working with a client (a music ministry) lately for the last few months. And to put it plainly.....there have been unnecessary challenges.

When I first meet with a client I make sure, in that first initial consultation, that they are ready for change and are open minded to accept new ideas that could get them to the next level. In this particular case the client said he was ready and seemed excited.

I listen to their goals and views on the dream music ministry for them. I assess the rehearsals and services to see what needs to be changed in order to help them reach those goals. Then I have another consultation with them to let them know what I see and what needs to be changed.

Now in the beginning I did say he seemed excited. But some people being told or shown what they are doing wrong effects their ability to want to move forward. They start holding on tighter to what has not been working because it's comfortable and familiar......kind of like their safe place for them.

Even when you come from love in telling them what needs to be changed, they take it as you being critical. They don't want to hear that what they have been doing all these years are not working. But apparently, something inside of them already knows if they have asked for my help.

As a consultant, sometimes it is my job to help them realize the reality of the current situation and be accountable for it. Once that has been accomplished then it makes it easier to move forward.

Working with this client has been like kicking a stone wall with bare feet. I know that seems drastic but it is the absolute truth! They, in the beginning made the (what I like to call) "face lift changes" like wardrobe, pitch and diction. But that is only like putting a band aid on a wound after having heart surgery.

So, I've come to the realization that this person, as the leader, is not ready for change or the next level. They want the image of success without the work. Unfortunately this person does not realize that they have mega ministry dreams with a store front mentality.

In order for them to move ahead they will need to be accountable and ready for God to do a mind change in order to fulfill the vision of their pastor and move forward with the rest of the ministry. But as for me.....it's time to move on to the next ready client until they are truly ready for change.

Who Wants to Change? Part 1

We all need help no matter who we are or what we do. Whether you own a business, run a church or are a parent, help is always needed. So we reach out to others that have the expertise that we long to obtain in our most needed areas of life.


Eventually we (Party A) find these wonderful God gifted people to come into our lives to help us bring order to the chaos. They begin to work their magic and give us wonderful ideas that will change the way we've viewed things. We get excited and start making the suggested changes and begin to feel that we are on our way to success.


THEN.....there are those (Party B) that say they are ready for change. They bring gifted people in their lives to help get them to the next level. They begin to get great information that these wise people have to offer. They listen but only apply a few minor changes.


But the difference with Party B is they want to be surrounded with people that can bring change but they want them to do it. They don't actually want to be the ones that have to change. However, the bad thing about this is that their minds are not ready for the accountability of what transpires in order for change to take place. 


Change looks good to them but they really don't want it. They love the idea of it. So they surround themselves with the right people, but then every time they are told what is not working effectively for them, they disagree. They hold on to old and are terrified of the new. 


Some look at change as losing control. But what they don't realize is that what is most feared is the unknown of what the change will bring. What changing shows is that you are not afraid of progression, development and evolving. 


In order to be successful in life you must adapt to change. It is imperative you embrace change. We've always heard that change is inevitable and no matter how much we resist it, IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN!


One of my favorite books is, "Who Moved My Cheese" by Spencer Johnson M.D. It describes the different types of personalities and how they adapt to change. But what we must understand is that even if we start off resistant to it, it is never to late to renew our thinking and adapt to the inevitable.

Faint Not in Well Doing

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."
Galations 6:9 (NIV)

You have been doing the best you can with what you've been given. You give over and beyond what you have and it seems like the harvest is far away. You begin to wonder if you will ever see the promises of God  manifest in your life. You continue to hope and pray and believe that you are not working in vain. 

You put your faith in God knowing he knows best because only he can see and reveal the future. But then you get to a point where you are tired. You feel yourself wanting to give up. The fight between belief and doubt becomes a constant battle.

The Battle Between Good and Evil 

Doubt says that God will not come through and you are wasting time waiting for something to happen that just will not manifest. It tells you that you must have done something wrong, because everyone around you seems to be getting their harvest and you are still stuck in the same place year after year. 

Then here comes belief (Faith). It encourages you that God is not a God that he should lie. Everything he spoke to you and in his word shall come to pass. It encourages you not to give up and keep up the good fight, because in due season you shall reap a harvest. 

Faith begins to remind you of past circumstances God has delivered you and others from. Tells you that it's not in the work that gets you blessed but in BELIEF. Abraham was considered righteous because he believed. He didn't faint in well doing.

We have to remember (as I have told myself this first), that God has perfect timing. Nothing happens overnight. The creation of the world took 6 days to be completed and it was perfect. Everything has its process, and process has its timing. 

You're Covered

There is nothing more frustrating than focusing on time, waiting and not seeing. But when you believe, you rest in knowing that God has you covered. A great power is to see the past, present and future at the same time. So who better to be in control of your life than the one who has that ability.

Stand firm in your faith and know that you have a divine destiny that has been created just for you. No one can do it like you do. Don't allow yourself to get so tired that you give up and totally miss out on what God has done on your behalf. 

Despite what you see on the forefront is totally different than what's going on in the background. We will make it. We WILL receive the promises of God.....but we must NOT GIVE UP.

Not As It Seems

Everyone goes through. We have our ups and downs, ins and outs, but the fact remains....everything is not as it seems.

This has been the hardest month for me all year. It's one thing after another. Something else comes when I think I almost just made it over the other. It is uncomfortable and this season seems tedious. I know that everything works together for our good, but sometimes you need a break. A time when you can just be free of it all.

Why I named this particular blog "Not As It Seems" is because the trial is not as it seems. It is usually a part of a process that strengthens us and matures us in ways that we can't do ourselves. It helps us to become resilient, making us better after the process. 

It seems like a very hard time. A time I really don't want to deal with, but ignoring the problem(s) will not make it go away. There is no better teacher than experience and the Spirit. The wisest of folks have a way of putting things into perspective because they have been through the process. 

'Been through' is an amazing statement when you really look at it. It means that you started in something, became apart of it and overcame (through) it. So when you have gone (past tense) through a process, you should be done with that test. 

There should be no revisiting it and belaboring on what happened. There should be a graduation to the next thing. But if we never go 'through it' (coming out of it), then we are running the risk of not moving forward. It's like this, you can't take algebra if you never completely understood the simple fundamentals of basic math. It is not conducive for you evolving as a person.

Process is where we become refined. It is the movement of transitioning to what we will become. What we see as gold (in jewelry) is not its original state. First it must be extracted from other elements that look very similar to it. Then after a long and tedious process it's mixed, burned and cooled to form solid gold bars. 

"EVERYTHING (does) work together for the good of them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28). So this trial, test, process is not as it seems. It is not us being punished becomes we did something wrong, but it is actually building us into what we were created to be.....Destined Beings of Greatness!!

I know that this time will pass. It does not feel good right now but I believe that God only wants the best for us. He does want us to succeed in every area of our lives. It will be better than ok. Our time here is to learn, give, receive, mature and grow. We will not lack anything after the process is done. Take it for what it is and embrace the PROCESS!

The Power of Giving

Tis the season to be GIVING!


We are quickly approaching the holiday season and there is nothing people love to do more than give. But why do we use just this season to give.


There are so many people who's lives have been devastated by the economy, loses and bad choices. We are a community whether we are the same class, breed, race...or not. Let's use this time to start giving back to those who don't have the things we have.


Emptying our closets of the stuff we don't want or can't wear anymore is a start (stop waiting to loose weight to wear it again). Have our children give away the toys they don't use (which is probably half their rooms). 


There is so much in our homes that can be used for the benefit of others. Whether it is to cheer someone up or be used to give a helping hand to push them into an opportunity to move forward in life.


We should be that community where we leave no one behind if they have a willingness to change. Let's not just give to our family members and loved ones only. Let's be the difference that can help change someone's life. 

Here is an organization that is geared towards helping others and inspiring and teaching people to do the same.

Defined Roles Create Effective Progress

When you are involved in any group (ie. ministry, work, volunteering), you want to make sure you know what your specific role is. This is a very important step that is often overlooked or ignored. Assumption only creates confusion. 


A great foundation for having a successful music ministry is by defining roles. Who does what? Normally when a person is paid, like a minister of music, they are usually in charge of making the major decisions, song selection, teaching, and setting goals, etc. They know what their position requires.


If you went to a rehearsal for the first time, you would normally know who the leader is by their actions and leadership ability to create order for that environment. In the worst cases, you don't know because there is so much confusion, and everyone is trying to do the same job. This is proof that roles have not been defined and the main leadership is missing. This causes problems and makes for an unproductive department. 


Before starting any music ministry, it is always best to choose a leader that is accountable, knowledgeable of that area and has actual leadership qualities. Knowledge alone does not make you a leader. People feel confident and secure in leaders that are confident and secure in their abilities to lead and are great at it.

The Hiring Process:


You should never hire from just word of mouth or just because they have been faithful. You want to make sure you choose an effective leader that fits your ministry and can help that department grow and mature. They should be able to make wise decisions, be diligent and goal oriented. Take the initial hiring process seriously and choose wisely. Remember the music ministry is the first impression to your church service.


Once you have chosen the appropriate leader for that department, the next thing to do is to define what their role is. This should be clarified in the interview process, between the pastor (or hiring staff if other than pastor) and the potential minister of music. If this is done in advance, then the applicant will come in knowing their role and responsibilities.




If you know what your role is in life, work, ministry and/or volunteering, then you have already begun a great journey. Define what your tasks are and are not. Doing this important step will help you to not become over-worked on menial task, but to focus on what's important.....things that create effective progress!

Are You A Professional: Effective Communication

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

- George Bernard Shaw

One of the leading causes for bad relationships, business or personal, is bad communication or non at all. There are so many issues that can be resolved if we just talk to one another and put all the cards on the table. Somethings are better said directly, than through text and email. In this setting, clarity becomes lost in translation. 

In business, it is better to meet or talk to one another at the beginning of the relationship so that you can build a solid foundation. In person, you can hear tone and read body language. This is the most effective way of communicating. It helps you understand a person better; See their needs through expression and improves your business skills.

Text and email can seem like a cop out. It appears as if you are dealing with people at a distance. You don't want to make your client feel less than adequate of your time, and give an image that you are not comfortable with people, business or communicating. You want them to have a clear understanding of you and what you are trying to say and do.

Communicating by talking (on the phone or face to face) helps you to.....

1. Build a better rapport
2. Resolves issues quicker
3. Increases your confidence

You want a client to feel comfortable with you, because if they do, they are more likely to refer you to others and do business with you again. It gives them a better understanding of who they're dealing with.

I'm not saying text and email is a bad thing! But when you are trying to establish a fruitful relationship in any aspect of life, there is no better way than talking. The worst thing you can do is assume, so let's leave that to the wind. Be effective in your communication and build relationships that will excel and multiply simply by this being your foundation. 

Are You A Professional: Time Factor

TIMING is everything! And when we are late, there is a possibility we could miss out on something great.


It is important to be on time to everything. Whether it looks like it or not, being tardy is a sign of bad time management, rebellion or the nonchalant attitude that we just don't care. When we tell people we are professionals, they watch us to see if we perform as such. No one might say anything to you, but they are taking notice and they will talk.


Timing can not only effect us negatively, but also hinders us from walking through open doors. It shows others that we don't care about them either. As we have heard, 'time is money'. Especially in an industry where most things you do now is based on an hourly wage (non corporate).




Story
I knew a great singer that has an awesome gift. She could sing clouds down from heaven. But timeliness for her was non existent. It came to a point that people did not want to work with her simply because of that issue. 


There came along a great opportunity for her to do a music score for a movie. The pay she was to receive would be more than what she made in a month at her regular job (and she was paid well at her day job). 


But because she was 20 minutes late, they decided not to use her and replaced her with a less talented singer (one who was there early and only hired as a back up). After this, her name was mud. No one in that industry wanted to work with her because they thought she didn't care about the opportunity, the project or the schedule.




Now I know that being 20 minutes late may seem drastic to some and less to others. But even if you are 5 minutes late you are wasting time. Don't make excuses for your time-less-ness. Stop saying you should do better.....just DO better. It is your career that is on the line. You want people to know you care about yourself, your line of work and most of all them. This shows a sign of respect and gratitude.


In everything we do, we should try to be early and not just on time. What my husband says all the time is, "To be early is to be on time and to be on time is to be late". People are watching you. Your life is the letter that they read (living epistles). And when you show up late, what does that say about your character and professionalism? Don't let time be your determining factor for failure.

Are You Ready For Change

The one thing that makes it easy to encourage and motivate people is working with those that are open and willing to change. 

Are you used to doing the same thing every single day? We know what our weekdays and week ends will consist of because we never change. We create a life that becomes comfortable, which turns to complacency, if we are not open to some changes. It is easy to cultivate an unconcerned attitude in life and not move forward. 

The danger with being complacent is that it numbs you of the reality of growth (or lack of). It gives the illusion that what you have now is good enough. But it's not good enough. We were created to grow, mature and evolve into something great that would help enrich others. But the only way for these things to materialize is to embrace change.

Could you imagine God only doing the first day of creation over and over again and never moving to the other days? Just think of all the other great manifestation we would miss out on if God did not continue to speak and do something new day after day.

He set the example for us in the beginning showing the importance of moving forward and reaching (or speaking) change around us. When we become idle, it alters our perception and attitude in a negative way. We act out and affect others around us, because in retrospect we are inwardly miserable because we have stopped the natural flow of our own development.

More over, there is a need for change. Change is the conversion of old to new, non existent to living; a dream to reality. It is the very essence of our being and the nature of which we were created. There is no progress with out change.

Don't get comfortable in your present. Instead, think of new ways that can help you grow as an artist, minister, mother or friend, etc. Allow yourself to do things you would not normally do. Keep in mind that you were meant to evolve in every way. Unlock the gifts inside of you and allow them to stretch you in ways that may seem uncomfortable at first..... but in the end it will be a great reward.

I Want You To Be Encouraged

It is wonderful to hear the applaud of a crowd after a performance, or the compliment from someone you admire. The gentle pat on the back when you have excelled or that simple gesture that you are magnificent.

All these things are wonderful! But what happens when it all stops. Are you strong and confident enough to encourage yourself? Do you think you have what it takes to be the best? In the end the only opinion that matters, outside of God's, is yours.

We believe that the good days are usually the better days of our lives. However, in reality, the best days are the bad ones. These are the days that teach us how to persevere, grow and mature so that when we get to those good days we are more than grateful and prepared for greatness.

What makes a day good isn't just the emotion it creates to signify that it is good, but it is more about what was gained in that day that will help us in the future. Don't think of it as ruined. Change your perception and ask, What did I learn? How has it helped me? What can I gain from this day to affect my future. 

It's like a glass-half-full kind of thing. You can effect your day simply by your thinking. I do, however, understand that some things are out of our control and pretty much devastating. But you can recover from anything if it doesn't kill you. That in it self should encourage you.

Other questions to ask yourself would be...

What are you like on a bad day?
Do you keep your head up and smile? 
Are you grumpy and snappy? 
Do you just give up every time things aren't going your way? 


I guess what I'm asking is.....Are you a SELF Encourager?

Don't allow anything or anyone to deter you from reaching your full potential. Even if the compliments and applause stop, you continue to do what it is you were created to do. Don't let the 'bad days' keep you from moving forward and using them as your stepping stones.

It is only a matter of time that you will see the manifestations of your blessings. You must remember to change your outlook on what everyone else says is negative. Encourage and motivate yourself every step of the way even on the 'bad days'. You are a winner! 


So....continue to be ENCOURAGED.