Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Your Help Is Not Wanted! Part 1



So many people ask  for help in different areas of their lives but fail to understand the true meaning of help.

Dictionary.com's definition of the word "help" is.... 
to save; rescue; to make easier or less difficult; contribute to.


I really like the 'contribute to' definition. Despite what most believe, helping is really supposed to "contribute to" a better result or finished product (or person). However some like their hands held and a lot of "it's ok's" to give them a temporary relief from the problems that lie within. This will not get them where they need and want to be. 


They don't really want your help at all. They just want an emotional baby sitter that will not hold them accountable to pursuing the greatness within. 
The end result, turns out to not be a good result at all, but still an incomplete person that does not want to deal with self.


Let's not handicap our fellow mates (yes I just went Australian) but let us be more proactive with the way we "help" others and ourselves. 

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Lack of Knowledge

We have all heard the term "When you know better you do better." I've learned that this is not always the case. We are held accountable for what we know. Yet just because we know it doesn't mean that we apply it to everyday life.

We expect others to follow the rules that what we know, even if they don't know it. But we don't always extend the courtesy to others.

I'm sure we have all dealt with people who do not honor their commitments with you until it benefits them. But yet they want you to honor your commitment with them despite if it benefits you or not. Now they know better!

Now the musician I spoke about in first blog is totally clueless. I've come to the conclusion that he just doesn't know any better and he's just spinning his wheels. He doesn't realize that not keeping a schedule and forgetting appointments with potential clients is making him look bad. Although he is a nice person, it makes him look like a bad business man who could care less about others.

Then you have the other scenario where a person really wants to work with you, but only if it's to their advantage. And if it's not....well you're out of luck. In this person, they will sometimes try to get over on you if you're not smart enough to notice. Do they know better? Absolutely.

Despite both types we as people have to continue to not only learn and refine our craft, but also learn to be better people, business men and women, and more interested in how our gifts could help others.

In some areas we might have a little bit of both personalities. But it's who we choose to be and what we choose to do with the knowledge given to us. Let's do better and help others to become better.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Did I Do Something Wrong??

I have been at a conference all week for actors, models and talent for Christ (AMTC) and this is the last day. This is an awesome opportunity for those that are trying to start their careers or take them to the next level.

You are connected with industry experts (agents, managers and casting directors, etc.) from music to the big screen. And you learn so much information about their particular industry.

I was in acting categories and singing. If you don't know, I am new to this acting thing....ok, acting in front of people. But the response to my acting from others have been really great and positive. This must be another gift that God has given me that I now want to cultivate.

So they have this thing called "call backs". This is where the agents, managers etc. see your showcase and want to meet personally with you. Well there were some of them that were leaving the conference early, so they did their call backs before everyone else. I did not get 1. And I didn't get selected for the choir or the Finale.
:-(

Even though theirs call backs wasn't the only ones that would be posted, it was a little dishardening. It's kind of a stamp of approval that you are doing something right or that you have potential.

I know I was not the only one that did not get any, but I was trying to be strong for everyone else that didn't either. But every now and then, my heart would sink and I would get discouraged.

I have a friend who has been acting for years and she is really good. She didn't get any callbacks either. She was more crushed than me so I tried to be strong for her and not show much of my own disappointment. And as I encouraged her, I also encouraged myself.

I did have to ask myself, do I have that it factor? Many people have told me I do (friends and strangers). Am I wasting my time doing this music business and adding acting to my basket of God given talents? Did I do something wrong?

After I sang, I pumped my fist in the air because I was so glad that I did not let fear mess me up and the response from the crowd was amazing. I was so estatic and encouraged! But then I wondered if that seemed cocky to the judges. You never know.

I know that God has given me a gift(s) and talents and I have been a better steward over them the last few years. But that still does not exempt me from getting down at times and questioning myself and sometimes (in the past) God.

I have had many rejections in music alone. And to add the natural rejection that would come with acting, could i possibly take it? There will always be better singers and actors than me, and I am totally fine with that. But I don't want to spin wheels and burn rubber not going anywhere.

When I didn't get any call backs I was kind of embarrassed. Everyone (including self) was positive that I would at least get 1. But it didn't happen.

There were more call backs posted at 1:45 am this morning. I have to see them when I go to devotional. I don't know if I want to look. Could I take more disappointment? 0 + 0 = 0.

Well I guess this is the life of any artist, whatever type you may be. There are always going to be "no's" and disappointments before that 1 yes comes. I'm sure this is building my perseverance, but it doesn't fill good. How long will I have to persevere and when will the 'yes' come?

Friday, July 8, 2011

Be Dependable!

There are many great musicians in the world today. But what separates the great (who are going some where in life, or are already there), from the good or ok (who have the gift but are only interested in gratification of self and not others) is what makes a HUGE difference.


Story:
I met a very talented keyboardist not long ago. Spoke with him about two separate projects that he would be contracted to work on.


Met with him to hear him play and get a vibe about him. He was nice and laid back. He seemed interested. Said he would like to do both projects (one with me and another for a paying ministry).


I told him to check his schedule to make sure he could make the rehearsals before he totally agreed to each project. He said his schedule was open. So, the first rehearsal was that following Monday, he said he would and could make.


I called him earlier the day of to remind him and give him the address. Rehearsal comes and he is a no show, no call. Hmmm. So everyone is looking at me like where's the musician? Now I don't know about how you would feel, but I was embarrassed and turned off!


So almost two weeks later he called me because he heard one of my songs on my Youtube channel Christyl Benford TV (plug-pun intended, lol). He loved my song and said he was excited to get started on my project. What!!!


So I had to bring up to him the fact that he missed a rehearsal and never called. His response......"oh, aaa, yeah I had a session that night, yeah aaa I forgot." REALLY! Then he turns around and ask me if we could get together sooner than our scheduled meeting (which would be in 2 weeks), because he's so stoked to work on my project.


This is absolutely unacceptable!  I would be more forgiving if he called back and said he forgot with an apology, even if it was the next day. However, here I am. Trying to decide if I want to give him another chance, or keep it moving (on the verge of keeping it moving).


I don't care what type of work you do in this world, but you should keep your word, be there and be on time. It looks bad to the client and it puts your name in the mud. I feel that if he did the other project like that, then how is he going to do me in the short run (forget the long run).


I thought that was rude, unprofessional and totally just bad character! People please do not act bigger than you are. Don't act like you're Diddy or Pharrell or who ever, and like you are so busy but you haven't done that much. Also, get a scheduler and use it! It's not that hard.


Use the one on your phone or write it down. It will help you and your clients. Actions like his will not get you no where in your career, because people will not want to work with you. And as we all know you need people to build a business.


When you treat people like this, what you're showing them is that you don't care. Whether you mean to or not. So that would make anyone second guess you as a person and a business connection. Be diligent, professional, timely, show you care and most of all.......BE DEPENDABLE!