How To Conquer Fear: Fear of Failure

It was 2006. I was a finalist out of 3 that made it to the "big stage". The light show was fantastic and the sound was so crisp that it all made you feel as if you were a rock star on tour. I was so nervous. The time was coming for me to get on that stage. My emotions were a mess and I could not keep my body from shaking. My nerves were getting the best of me.


The guy before me is almost done and the stage manager is calling me to get into position. I want to pass out, but I don't! I try to collect myself and then I hear my name thunder in the room over the loud speaker......"CHRISTYL BENFORD". The crowd is really cheering for me...wow!


The music begins to play and I begin to sing. I'm working the stage and then.....


So, let's talk about the fear of failure.
One of my biggest fears was failing. I thought losing with the worst, public defeat I could ever go through. Thinking about the pinnacle of my career and being successful and all that came along with that was not the issue with me. It was getting there and losing everything.


We have seen so many people make it to the top and then come crashing down because they didn't count the cost or they made some decisions that would cost them their careers. No, I didn't think I would mimic their mistakes but I definitely didn't want to go from one extreme and then down to a negative.


It took me YEARS to realize what type of fear this was. Of course, fear is fear and it is all bad, but when my eyes were open to the problem I begin to see that I was allowing this fear to hinder my life and progress.


So I went back to where this took root. It was when I lost a race to a boy in field day. For years I beat every kid in the school in track and field and then here comes a new kid and he beat me by a foot. Now I know this seems childish and minimal, but let me tell you how minimal is wasn't.


I stopped racing in school and never ran track again! Right, how dumb. I didn't have a sports driven family to encourage and tell me that you loose some (and that's ok) and you gain some. Get back up and keep running. Instead loosing was the end of the world for me.


So as I grew up, everything that seemed like a contest, I would (in my mind) sabotage myself to where I would loose over and over. This made the fear in me stronger and me weak and insecure. I couldn't see victory and the win due to me magnifying the possibility of defeat.


After I gave it over to God (because I couldn't do it all by myself), I would jump feet first into an opportunity and not give fear a chance to whisper in my ear and hinder me from moving forward. I became an overcomer and I AM an overcomer!


Fear still tries to stick its ugly head up when I'm getting ready to transition or do something big. But I keep moving and won't stop long enough to listen to its lies.


Ohhh yeah! You want to know what happened to the story in the beginning? I sang, I messed up and I didn't win. I know, a bummer right. But that lose is the one that transformed me into who I am today....a winner, overcomer and a conqueror of my fear!