Changing Places Part 2

The other night my 5 month old daughter ate from a spoon and drank from a cup (not a sippy cup) all in one night for the first time! It made me happy and sad all at once.

The sad part was thinking she wasn't going to need me any more. Yes I know, silly huh? But my wonderful husband assured me that she was always going to need me.

His mother passed from cancer a year ago on January 21st last year and he said he still would need his mother. That broke my heart, but made me feel a little better about the relationship with my daughter.

It goes to show you that change is inevitable. A year ago we had his mother alive and recovering from cancer, so we thought, and no child. This year we are unfortunate to not have his mother with us, but fortunate to have a beautiful, healthy baby girl.

We had to change in both scenarios. We couldn't go on living like his mother was here, but instead honor her memory by sharing the good things with our daughter and one another.

Second, We can't continue to live as a single married couple because it would not be a conducive environment for raising a child (no more midnight dinners at Steak & Shake, lol).

Changing can be very hard. Whether getting up every hour and a half with a new born for the first time or burying a loved one and finding yourself without them.

When you are in a world that's constantly moving, sometimes the best thing to do is see what you can do to make change easier for yourself.

Embrace it as a part of you and let it fuel you to making better decisions for your future. Because when you except it, it will make for a better transition.

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Changing Places Part 1

I can't believe how many times I've heard 'change is inevitable'. No matter what happens in life we all have to come under the submission of change. And those of us that resist it will be miserable.


I was talking to a student advisor about technology and how it is ever changing. Every time you look up it's as if there is a new phone, tablet, smart TV or some other gadget that advertisement tells us we just can't live our day to day without.


When you buy the latest, you see a commercial or ad telling you they have something better, more revised or compatible with what your daily needs are. It is funny to say this, but we can really learn from technology.
One of my favorite books of all time is, "Who Moved My Cheese". I love this book! If you haven't read it I suggest you do so immediately.


The book introduces several characters with totally different views and actions on change. And if you're honest with yourself, it will really help you to identify with the character that fits your type of personality the most.


Some people feel that because the word says 'God is the same yesterday today and forever more', we need to continue in doing the same thing we've always done be it religion, spirituality, lifestyle, attitude or traditions, etc.


But if we read it in context it says "GOD" is the same. He's a perfect being so therefore he can continue to be who he is. No change is needed. However, we on the other hand, must continue to evolve as people. That's why we keep learning, growing, changing in our bodies, attitudes and perspectives.


Case and point:  You rarely see a (in most cases) 50 year old woman look at life like a 20 year old. She has learned, in her years from experience, that what mattered then does not matter any more. Her views have changed.


She becomes clearer of her wants versus her needs allowing wisdom to be a guide rather than reacting to the smallest things. Her inner and outer style become refined, and life to her now is not about what people think. She learns to be happy with herself and with what God has given her in this moment.


We must allow ourselves to change, because time will not stop and change will come (good or bad). But it's how we view it that will be the manifestation of what we will become.

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The Experience of God's Grace

Wow! A lot has happened since my last blog. I have had an anniversary, a birthday and....a BABY!
I feel so overwhelmed with joy and see God's grace in my life day after day.

In the past I remember the feeling of terror and burden every time I thought about having children. Being the oldest in a single parent home made me never want kids. Then, when I met my husband and grew to maturity I thought that maybe a few kids wouldn't be so bad but the discomfort remained.

It is amazing how we can allow something from our past to shape our future, good or bad. Even though I was raised by an awesome mother, it almost felt at times, as if I was the second parent. That is something a child, teenager or adolescent should never feel.

I often had to miss out on school activities because I had to keep my brother while she worked. Or I would have to take him with me. He was a pretty good kid, but it made me bitter because I felt there was no freedom.

So when I grew up I saw children as a burden......which is a horrible attitude to have towards an innocent child. And yes my brother was bullied by me because of it.

I have apologized to him many times for the way I treated him. Some may say that that type of behavior is normal for siblings, but honestly it really doesn't have to be.

Because of my outlook on what I thought having children would be like, I put off having children for years. I almost was leaning on not having them at all. I loved it just being me and my husband and got used to that lifestyle after 11 years of marriage and 14 years of being together (now 12 years married and 15 years together).

Every year our family and friends would ask when we were having kids and every year we would say "Next year." I know they got tired of hearing that but we didn't care. Then we found out we were pregnant and it was a shock! But when I saw the first ultra sound and she moved.... my heart was changed from that moment on.

When I look back at the year before conception, I realize that God and his grace was doing a supernatural change in my heart. I remember telling God I was ready to meet Madisyn (I always knew that would be her name). I didn't really know if I was ready or not but I knew that I had love to give that was more maternal than before.

As I watched her grow inside of me I began to see a different side of life that I had never been exposed to. Every movement, every change in my body and hers, began to show a side of God's grace that only a mother would know.

His grace was in the pregnancy, delivery and in her existence now. I would not trade this for the world! I see now that there was no need for fear of the unknown because, what is unknown to us is known to our Heavenly Father, and he only wants the best for us.

I thank God that he would entrust me and my husband with such an awesome gift and expression of his love and Grace. I am honored to be a mother!